An Evergreen Christmas (2014)

Title: An Evergreen Christmas
Year of Release: 2014
Available On: Netflix (as of 11/15)
Rating: One out of five Jingle Bells

I would not normally mock someone’s name, but I just need to acknowledge that there is an actor named Booboo in this movie. He apparently also has a sister named Fivel. Now that that’s out of the way… There are a few funnies in this movie:

I don’t understand you kids naming your band after a parasitic insect! –Pops

I had a bad feeling about the boyfriend, Chez, immediately. First of all, he’s working as a barista and he’s incredibly spazzy. It’s insulting to baristas everywhere! Secondly, he turns out to be not very supportive and apparently does not care for delicious food. He’s obsessed with his cell phone, says things like, “C’mon, we’ve gotta run off that diner” – oh, and his name is Chez.

This movie is RIFE with casually offensive stereotypes. First of all, Booboo/Angel and his family are ostensibly of Mexican descent. Booboo, the actor, is not Mexican. IMDB says he is “Japanese, Chinese, and Korean ancestry on his mother’s side along with Scottish, Russian, and Blackfoot ancestry on his father’s side.” Booboo/Angel tells Annabelle a story of the Mayan sun and moon gods and says things like, “We’ll be here through the new year, y’know… to till the soil.” The young Annabelle’s abusive father is also racist and that’s awful, yes, but he’s also a caricature of rural white people. All this to say that they are reaching for diversity but doing making missteps while they do it. Good job for trying? Maybe? No.

There are some strange side plots that probably don’t need to be in this movie. They’re distracting rather than enriching, and they can’t be addressed appropriately because there isn’t time.

The other thing. I like Charleene Closshey. As a person, she seems brilliant, she’s very musically talented, and she produced this film. That said, she is a 34-year old woman. Probably 32 when she filmed this movie. The main character of this film, Evie, should be 25 at the most according to it’s own timelines and references – and it’s discordant. I know actresses play younger all the time, but this time it didn’t work. Her wardrobe was also awful. I don’t remember 2013-2014 looking that horrific, but then again, I don’t and never will live in LA. Sorry, Charleene! I bet you’re a badass otherwsie.

Oh, overall churchiness was a 3/5. Not terrible, really, and it seemed as forced as some of the subplots.