Mariah Carey’s Merriest Christmas (2015)

TitleMariah Carey’s Merriest Christmas
Year of Release: 2015
Available On: Netflix December 2017
Rating: 3.5 out of 5 Jingle Bells

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Having heard Mariah Carey sing live on TV before, I highly doubt any of these songs are being sung live for filming. Which is fine, except that Mariah is acting like she’s really trying which only serves to bring attention to the farce. But I guess she’s kind of always done that? Girl, I know you aren’t hitting those high notes in 2015 except under the most perfect conditions (i.e. not on this set). She messes up words later on and I think they planned the mistake? Like, put it into the backing track?

There are more black and brown people in the first five minutes of this 38-minute special than probably in every other movie I have reviewed on this blog. In the audience, in the backing chorus, it’s a welcome change. There are no “characters” in this movie other than Mariah herself. Everyone pictured is there to make her look the way she wants to look, which is like the sparkly, benevolent, spirited and Christmas-loving diva that she is. There are frequent costume changes. Poor girls nails are so long and gold she can’t clap her hands properly. You know what I mean, that palm-only clap with the fingers over-extended as far back as possible.

Mariah Carey directed a movie? That stars Lacey Chabert? I’m so confused by this – is this a commercial for a movie in the middle of this Christmas special?

Yes, yes it is.

There’s a slight plot otherwise. Billy Gardell / Santa is stick in Aspen traffic and asks Siri – I’m sorry, Ico, to get him to Mariah’s house on time. But what you really watch this for is all the sparkles, the outfits, the constipation faces while singing, the hand-waving, the beautifully festive set decorations, and even if she’s not singing live, the music is wonderful.

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